Babies Without Borders

Last week we went shopping with the boys. We casually popped into a Borders bookstore and was that ever an experience! Never in my wildest dreams would it have occurred to me that we should have prepared the boys for the bookstore ahead of time; it's not as though it's a toy store!

I can't speak for Sam, but to my knowledge, this was the first time that Owen and Ben have ever been in an actual bookstore. (We live in a small town that does not offer much in the way of shopping). The library has been the extent of their exposure to large collections of books. At the library, kids are free to take the books off the shelves to read, to take toys out of the toy chest to play with on the floor, to play games on the computer, and to wander aimlessly around on their own, (with adult supervision, of course).

Our library: I suppose it DOES look a lot like a bookstore.

We should have explained the difference between the library and a bookstore before we entered it, but who knew? You would have thought that we had walked into a candy store! The two older boys were running around like maniacs checking out all of the cool new books and colorful displays. Now, please understand that these are boys who are pretty well-behaved, especially in public. I am constantly hearing compliments about them while we are out about how well-behaved and polite they are, so this was completely unexpected behavior.

It was total chaos. They were dashing from one display to the next, grabbing books and toys, and going crazy over the selection of superhero books. (In their defense, if you've never seen the children's section of Borders, it IS set up more like a toy store than a book store). I was lucky enough to be carrying Ben, since we forgot the stroller at home, and as soon as we stepped into that bookstore, he turned into super wiggle-worm. At the library, I allow Ben to get down on the floor, to walk around as he pleases (within the reading room), to play with the toys and examine the books on the shelves. So he was practically diving out of my arms for the opportunity to run around and check out everything. At one point, I had no choice but to put him down because he would not stop yelling and trying to leap from my arms. I regretted it as soon as his feet hit the floor; he was off like a lightning bolt, pulling books off the shelves, climbing on top of the display of board games, and trying to follow his brothers around. I immediately scooped him up and left the store, leaving Daddio to reign in the other boys. About five minutes later, they came out of the store, each with a book in hand. Daddio said that Owen, thinking that it was like the library, had tried to walk out of the store without paying for his book.

When we finally made it home, the boys were showing me their books and I noticed that Owen had three Cars stickers on the back of his! The first thing I immediately thought was that he had come across a book with stickers in it, and thinking that they were like the free sticker box at the library, had taken them and put them on his book. I asked him where they came from and how they made it on his book. He came up with some story about the car driving and whooshing it's way onto the book. Right. Like I'm going to fall for that one. I tried a different approach and the next story that he came up with was that a book had ripped and the boy had given him the stickers. Okay, that's a little more believable. Maybe the guy at the counter HAD given them to him. However, when I asked Sam to confirm that this was what happened, he shook his head "no". Great. My son is a thief and a liar! I am so disappointed with him! I'm going to cry!

I never really figured out what happened, but Daddio swears that Owen did not take them out of any book, but I suspect that he did not have his eye on him the whole time. I ended up having a long, serious conversation with Owen about what stealing means and the difference between a bookstore and the library and why we have to pay for things at the store. He seemed to understand and was genuinely upset over the whole ordeal, as was I.

Not only was I disgusted with the behavior that the boys showed in the store, but I was shocked at the thought that Owen may have actually stolen the stickers! I realize that if he did take the stickers, then he probably didn't understand what it meant at the time, he is only three afterall, but that didn't make up for the disappointment that I felt. This was my first taste of how strong of a feeling it is to be really disappointed with my own child. It was heartwrenching. I hope that I never have to feel that way again, but I know that I will not be that lucky. It was only a glimpse of what I will be dealing with in the future.
 
 

She's Got The Look

Today I was given The Look. It's the look that I would imagine all parents dread getting. It's that look of utter disgust. From a stranger.

The boys and I took a trip to the library this morning. I had some books on hold and needed to return a few as well. It was also a beautiful day out, so I figured it was a good opportunity to get out for a little exercise. As soon as we arrived at the library, the boys dutifully returned their books, then hopped on the computers to play some games. I sat Ben down on the floor to play with a board puzzle while I tried to find some new books for the boys. Pretty soon, Ben was crawling over to the computers to check out what his brothers were up to. Like the good mother that I am, I followed him to make sure he was staying out of trouble. (This is why it takes me an hour to pick out six books for the boys).

At the same time that Ben was exploring, a woman (we'll call her Evil Lady) walked in with what I would assume was probably her granddaughter, but possibly her daughter. As soon as she saw Ben on the floor, she warned her daughter/granddaughter (who was at least ten feet away from Ben) to watch out! Don't step on any fingers! Then she threw a glance at me that clearly said, Why on earth are you allowing your son to crawl around on the floor of a public place, which is probably swarming with germs and bacteria and skumars* and all things gross and dirty? She wouldn't have to worry about stepping on his fingers if you were holding him like you should be doing.

 Feeling slightly ashamed, I picked up Ben and brought him back over to where he had just been playing. I continued my search while also following Ben around, putting the books back up on the shelves as quickly as he was pulling them down. Owen and Sam both decided at the same time that they wanted a new computer game because they couldn't figure out how to play The Magic School Bus one. I set Ben over by the toy box, pulled some out for him to play with and quickly ran over to the computers to help out the boys.

Now, before you criticize me for leaving Ben by himself, let me present to you a visual of where we were all located in the library and why it (seemingly) was an okay idea to leave Ben with the toys.

Somewhere my artistically talented sisters are hiding their heads in shame. (Drawn to scale).

See? There's little Ben on the other side of the bookcase, not even five feet away from me. (And by the way, Yes, Owen's head is that large. Yes, Sam's head is that long. Yes, my butt really is half way up my back and my head is super tiny.Yes, I always walk around with pee down the front of my skirt. And yes, we are all transparent).

I quickly switched games for the boys and went back to the reading area on the other side of the bookcase. Ben was gone. I frantically looked around me thinking that he could not have gone very far, but he had. He was already climbing up the stairs, outside of the children's room, on the OTHER side of the building. Another visual for you, complete with Ben's path:

This has to be at least a mile long!.

I ran to the stairs, and of course, Evil Lady was on her way up the stairs as well. She turns around to look glare at me and says, "He's climbing the stairs." No shit. Thank you Captain Obvious. I scoop Ben up again, scolding him at the same time as I am trying to laugh off my Mommy Boo-Boo. I turn around to include Evil Lady in on my laughter and there it was. The Look. It was the look that said, How did YOU become a mother? Can't you control your children? You should have been keeping a better eye on your son. You should feel ashamed of yourself. You should NOT be a parent. I am so much better than you.

I immediately walked away without a word, the smile gone from my face and my head hung low. But what I REALLY wanted to do was punch her in the face and say, "Take THAT! you old hag ugly bag fat bitch! You don't know me. I'm here with three energetic and curious boys. No, I cannot keep an eye on all three boys at once all the time. Yes, it is highly likely that one of them is going to get away from me from time to time. But you have no right to judge me for it. I am doing the best that I can! I am a GOOD mother, dammit! 

I hope that I don't run into that woman again. It's almost as bad as the time Random Biker Dude ran into my house to scold me for allowing Owen to play in the road**. I'm still hiding my head in shame over THAT one!

* "Skumars" is a word used by our entire family meaning all things gross and dirty. I don't know where it originated from or what the correct spelling is. It's been spelled both "schumars" and "skoomars". I prefer a combination of the two. Chances are, if you meet someone who uses this word, and knows what it means, they are either one of our family members, or someone who knows us well.

** This isn't what really happened. It was all actually a big misunderstanding that basically ended with the realization that Daddio is a big idiot. But seriously, if you're interested in hearing it, remind me later and I will tell that story sometime as well.