Tuesday, February 15, 2011

The Single Dude's Valentine's Day Blues

As we all know, yesterday was Valentine's Day. It was a day to celebrate the people we love. For some people, it was all about couples. For others, it was about the kids. Unfortunately, it is also a day that many people resent; those people are usually single.

I watched an episode of How I Met Your Mother last night, and it was, of course, centered around Valentine's Day, or more specifically, the day before Valentine's Day, which Barney has so thoughtfully dubbed Desperation Day. ("It's a thing"). The focus was on single women who wear the mask and put up the facade of not caring about Valentine's Day because they don't need a man to make them happy, blah, blah, blah. Barney's theory is that February 13th is the day when a single "10" gains the desperation of a "4" and the eagerness of a "2" (or something to that extent), therefore making it an easy day to pick up hot women.

Source

Anyway. I think that it's time to focus on another type of person who always seems to be ignored on Valentine's Day, the lonely single guy. (Men have feelings too!)
This is the man who has either recently been burned by a woman, or has never had the honor of being in a relationship on Valentine's Day. He is sad. He is lonely. He wallows in his self-pity. He curses every woman in sight. He desperately tries to drown his sorrows at the local watering hole.

Poor me. Not once in my entire life have I had a date for Valentine's Day.


While he is pounding back one drink after another, this man is usually contemplating what exactly has gone wrong in his life, replaying every event, every word said, trying to figure out why he is doomed to be alone each Valentine's Day.  

What is wrong with me? Why don't women like me? Is it me? Is it my hair? The way I dress? Am I too messy? Is it the way I smell? They way I eat? Is it because I don't have a job and still live with my mother? My brother has found a very cute and sweet girl, why can't I?

I just can't figure it out. I'm cute. I'm young. What's the problem here?


Of course, dwelling on the issue just makes him more depressed with himself and more hateful toward women in general. Which in turn, makes him drink more.

I can't handle the pressure!

Desperately, he will then try to do whatever he can to take his mind off his sad lonely life. He may strike up a conversation with the guy next to him, (who is probably also a sad lonely man), or with the bartender. He may try a round of darts or play a game of pool. Most likely though, not really wanting to move himself from his seat of self-pity, he will scope out the game playing on the tube.

Oh good. My favorite team is playing. This looks promising. But, oh. They're losing. This is NOT good!

But no matter how he tries to distract himself, someone that he sees, or something that he hears, or even a smell, will remind him of his troubles. The guy next to him will suddenly start telling his own sob story, or the bartender will point out the obvious, "No date tonight?". The song that has just came on will have been "their" song, bringing back the memories of his ex. A woman will walk by and he will catch a whiff of the same perfume that the love of his life wore. Or a lovey-dovey Valentine's Day commercial will come on, reminding the poor sorry dude that he has no one in his life to love. Which of course leads to more drinking.

Whoa, dude. Slow down!

The night will continue like this until midnight finally strikes and Valentine's Day will officially be over and the sad lonely man can stop feeling sorry for himself. It will be time to pay his tab, put on his coat, pick up his pride that he dropped at the door and call it a night.

Things will be different next year. I'll show them.

Realizing that he has a whole year ahead of him to pull his life together and find the one woman out there for him, he'll head home with high hopes and drunken prospects. Next year will be different. Next year, he'll be happy. Next year, he'll have girlfriend. Next year....

Who wouldn't love this face?

4 comments:

  1. Poor guy. At least his bar stocks his favorite snacks instead of icky peanuts.

    ReplyDelete
  2. It's all in who you know, and I hear he's pretty tight with the bartender. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Adorable photos.

    Wait. Men have feelings too?

    ReplyDelete

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